Why do I swim?

Those who don’t can’t understand,

The pain is real every day.

Is it easier now? Not really-

The same pain I felt the first day

I began.

Only easier to cover greater

Distances in shorter periods of time.

The pain is the same, and I understand it always will be.

I dread it, and in a sense I crave it.

Why do I swim?

To stay in shape, to keep my health,

To feel better – all partial reasons,

I suppose.

The reason is confirmation – confirmation

That I am in control.

Every day I must make a choice – a choice

To experience pain and discomfort in order

To achieve a higher goal or to give into

The body’s urging to do something else more

comforting and pleasurable.

Who is in control?  My body or me?

Every time I swim, I verify to me that

I am in control and that I can be the

Master of my own destiny.

That is ultimately why I swim.

I feel guilty when I don’t swim –

When the body wins

Swimming is a test of my strength –

Not just my physical – but my mental.

Swimming is a challenge of my “will” –

Of mind over matter, of me

Against myself.

Swimming is mental conditioning as well

As physical.

Its therapy of the “will” for me. –

Each swim is success – the richest and

Most deeply satisfying.

Strangely but unmistakably tied to self-

Discipline, self-denial and self-control.

In a world where I often feel helpless,

Victimized and controlled, swimming

Helps revive feelings of hope, strength,

And conviction that

I can make a difference

And

I can be responsible for me.

An addiction or choice, you say.

Positive addiction or not, the value

Is in choosing.

When the choice is gone, I become

Controlled and victimized again,

One more thing in my life that tells me

I am not in control, that

I am simply a pawn of fate and circumstance.

I must swim as a choice, not out of necessity

Or its real value is gone for me.

Why do I swim?

I swim for success, success in the ultimate contest.

The contest of me against myself.

 

Poem emailed in by: Diane Herrera

Author: Unknown